Tom Cruise

As a reward for being such a smashing fellow, The Church of Scientology elders have had a whip-round and have raised enough money to buy Tom what he has always wanted! "Next stop Alpha Centauri!"

Liam Gallagher

The trouble with starting again and ending up in Beady Eye, a band that will only ever play small gigs, is that you inevitably end up having to go self-catering. Isn't that right Liam?

Rod Stewart

While tracking down more old songs to record for the twenty-eighth volume of The Great American Songbook, Rod Stewart stumbled across this old tomb and simply had to take a brass rubbing.

Thom Yorke

Free of their record label, Radiohead's management and other band members deeply regretted letting Thom have carte blanche over the In Rainbows album artwork. Bitterly hurt by the rejection, Thom continues to practice his previously unknown talent. No wonder he's so miserable. Cheer up Thom! There's always that Bar Mitzvah booking next week!

Alan Carr

Poor old Alan had a bit of a leak in the night. Never one to let things dampen his spirits, here he is first thing in the morning re-thatching his roof.

Bono takes time out

When not on a gruelling tour schedule of music, near-Godliness and saving rain forests, Bono likes nothing more than a trip to a nearby 'Crown' Green. He has been asked to front the Olympic Team for Ireland, but unfortunately this is not possible with his heavy schedule of wanting to be adored. Which is fine with everyone else, because annoyingly, he's really rather good.

Taio Cruz and Billy Idol

Billy Idol has got himself into a bit of a pickle with his electrics. Luckily, young Mr. Taio Cruz has stepped in to sort it all out in a very professional manner. (Although at least Billy isn't taking any chances with the Health and Safety inspectorate and is keeping his protective headgear on).